So, you wanna get married? Thinking of the best way to pop the question? Before you take the plunge, take a few minutes to go through the "Am I Crazy?" questionairre."
1) Do you know your future bride's last name?
2) Does it terrify you to think that you may have left your unlocked cell phone in your future bride's apartment?
3) Have you run out of excuses not to get married?
4) Have you listed the pros and cons for getting married on a piece of paper that you carry around in your wallet?
5) When people ask you to describe your future wife, do you start with "She's got a great bod"?
6) Are you still talking about why your last girlfriend left you?
7) Do you live at home with your mother?
8) Do you think your future bride may be carrying your baby?
9) Has your future bride ever said "I think of you as a friend" or "I think of you as a brother?"
10) Does your future bride have more than three self help books in her bookcase?
11) Are you prohibited from getting closer than 500 feet from your future bride?
12) Does your future bride have more than 500 pairs of shoes in unopened boxes?
13) Does your future bride use the phrase "He's just a friend" more than five times a day?
14) Do your friends regulary say, "She seems like a nice person."
15) Does your future bride have the same first name as you and it doesn't bother you?
16) Does your future bride have the same last name as you and it doesn't bother you?
17) Is the love of your life a medical miracle in that she never burps, farts or vomits?
18) Do you call your future wife "Honey, Sugar lips, Sweatheart, or Love Muffin" even when you're introducing her to friends?
19) Do you regulary go out for coffee with your future wife's mother?
20) Has your future father in law asked to borrow a large sum of money?
If you answer yes to all of the above questions, run. Run fast, run far.
If you answer yes to 6, 7, 9, 11, or 13 and find yourself, ring in hand, in a public place in front of a thousand people, stop. Your not ready - You don't want to end up like the guy on the right.
If you answer no to all of the questions above - you're ready to move on to the next exciting chapter in your life. In the next few pages we'll match your personality to the marriage proposal that's right for you.
The Sweet Touch - You make your future wife breakfast in bed, wash her car, feed her cat or buy her flowers even when you haven't screwed-up.
The Adventurer - You put on a show to impress your bride to be, you sing her a love song, put her name in lights, declare your love to the world..
The Grand Gesture - You buy your love expensive gifts, dazzling diamonds, fancy cars.
